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Wellness Wednesday: Saying “No”

Learning how to say a respectful “no” is a skill everyone should learn. Some of us are just “yes” people out of habit, sense of obligation or eagerness to please our friends, family and coworkers. But over-scheduling doesn’t do anyone any good. Our eagerness to over-commit comes from a good place, but in the end it can leave you feeling exhausted, stressed and burdened by your schedule.

Everyone’s favorite manners writer, Anna Post ( great-grand-daughter of Emily Post) has some tips for perfecting this important skill:

1. Don’t ask for details. Once you get into a conversation about what time you’d need to arrive, how long it will take,  the location of the event/meeting/appointment etc, it will seem like you’re saying yes even if you aren’t intending to.

2. Don’t place qualifications on the commitment.  When you say something like “I’m only available Tuesday nights” it sends the signal that you’ll commit to anything on Tuesday evenings when in reality you’re really expressing how busy you are that you only have one evening to spend doing the things you enjoy.

3. If you’re still having trouble saying “no,” ask about the future. A respectful “no” can still be a yes…someday. Try something like, “No, I can’t help this time. Ask me again in the summer.”

How do you say a respectful “no?” We want to hear about it!

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