“I need to have a smart phone. Everyone else has one. I’m the only kid in my class who doesn’t. If I can’t do Facebook and Instagram I’ll miss out on things the cool kids are doing.” Have a tween or teen? Then you have probably heard a plea that goes something like this. But the fear of missing out does not apply just to kids. We adults also feel pressure to keep up with many things that are happening, whether that is current news, social events, conversations and more. Social media has an increasingly strong pull for many people, who feel left out (or fear that they will be) if they don’t keep up with what their friends are doing.

So much so in fact, that in 2013, the word “FoMO” was added to the Oxford English Dictionary. The “fear of missing out” refers to the feeling of “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere.” Although this term has only recently been added to our contemporary lexicon, experiencing FoMO is not a new phenomonem. Most people have been preoccupied by the idea at some point that someone, somewhere, is having more fun, earning more money, or leading a more exciting life. For people who experience such feelings often, smartphones and social media have made it easier than ever to track what others are doing.

There is nothing inherently wrong with the desire to keep tabs on people we care about; an essential aspect of what makes us human is our need to be social. But increasingly many companies develop ways take advantage of this impulse to keep users habitually returning to their apps and websites. This relatively new technology has many complicated implications on our daily lives, some that are positive and others more negative. Staying connected with others through social media has many benefits, but like anything it comes at a price.

Recently I realized that my social media use was increasing. Initially I was spending more time on social media for work, but that led to spending more time perusing posts by others and reading more articles and random things I happened upon. While some of the content I find is interesting and useful, often I would be left with the same kind of feeling I used to get from TV channel surfing… a chunk of time wasted and nothing to show for it. It felt a bit like binging on too much dessert…a quick burst of sugar followed by agitation then fatigue.

I concluded that I didn’t like how spending time on social media was taking time away from other ways I like to spend my time that give me more energy. I like to have some quiet solitude regularly so that I can turn inwards, be present and tune in to my deeper thoughts and ideas. I also find it much easier to concentrate, focus and do productive work when I am not chopping up my time and attention into small chunks interrupted with frequent social media breaks. Facebook certainly does not encourage deep work.

As I thought about the concept of FoMO, I came to the conclusion that for me, fear of missing in(wards) is a much bigger concern for me than fear of missing out. I call this “FoMI” (“Fear of Missing In”). If I am spending a lot of time focused outwards, distracted by what others are doing and posting, I am not spending as much time focused inwards, present with my own thoughts, ideas and creative pursuits.

So I decided to set limits on my social media usage, both in terms of the amount of time and when/where I check social media. I also did some social media decluttering. It takes discipline to stick to the limits I’ve set for myself, but having more time and attention for deeper thinking and creativity is well worth it.

Could you benefit from limiting your use of social media, email or other distractions that make it hard to focus? Our expert professional organizers and productivity consultants help people develop healthy productive habits that increase focus and productivity so that they have less stress, more time and can focus on what matters most. Contact us to learn more.